10 things that can’t happen if we want to beat Jacksonville

[YDFL Commish]

1. C&O can't predict the Colts to win
2. Omaha can't piss on the game thread title
3. I can't watch the game
4. Zaire Franklin can't play in the game
5. Germaine Pratt can't play in the game
6. Mekhi Blackmon can't play in the game
7. JJ Watt can't be calling the game
8. The officiating crew can't show up for the game
9. Jags fans can't outnumber Colts fans
10. CIG can't be on the sidelines